Emancipation 21st Century Style
By Albert B. Kelly
I don’t know if you’ve
been following the story in the news, but in Morris County NJ, Lincoln Park to
be exact, 18-year-old Elizabeth Canning moved out of her parents’ house at
seventeen (2 days shy of her 18th birthday) because she refused to
follow their rules, which included breaking up with her boyfriend, and now she
is suing her parents for financial support which would consist of child support
payments, college expenses, legal fees, and tuition for a Catholic high school.
Last week a superior court
judge, while he refused to grant the teenagers’ request for an emergency order,
also did not dismiss the case, but scheduled it for a hearing in late April ahead
of a possible trial. Aside from the overwhelming desire to administer the type
of parental justice my own parents would have deemed swift and immediate to
certain parts of my anatomy, I was astonished at how far we’ve fallen as a
society.
I understand “teenage
rebellion” and I can even understand the 17-year-old deciding that being with
her “true love” required her to move out. But once she packed her things and
walked out the door, at least to my way of thinking, she declared herself
“emancipated”, claiming for herself all of the rights and privileges of
adulthood along with all of the responsibilities, financial and otherwise. She
can choose adulthood or childhood, but she can’t have both and shame on the
court if it lets her pick what she wants from both.
What also I found telling
about the news the coverage though, beyond discussions of case law, divorced
parents versus still being married (as these parents are), and the rights of
snotty high school kids everywhere; there was no mention of the boyfriend.
While some may question how relevant this is, fathers of daughters everywhere
know the angst that comes with the mere thought that their “little girl” will
come home one day with the standard issue ne’er-do-well punk hyped up on Red
Bull or a feckless thug that smells like gym sock.
Yet the seeming cause of
this family’s trouble, the boyfriend, is nowhere to be found in this story. Nor
have we heard the parents’ side of the matter. Because that part of the story
is blank, we either have to conclude that these parents are overbearing and
unreasonable, which is possible though not cause for litigation, or the
boyfriend is simply bad news. There are no claims of abuse; no intolerable
conditions that warrant this teenager leaving for safety or sanity, just a set
of household rules and a decision by her parents that they will no longer
continue to pay the freight if certain conditions are not met under their roof.
But this, right here, is
part of why our society seems to be unraveling at the seams. It’s the slow and
steady erosion of authority at all levels. We’ve seen it in our public, civic,
and religious institutions but most alarmingly, it has trickled down to our
schools and into our homes. Having sown this amongst our kids, we’ve now reaped
a couple generations of indulgent and over-privileged young adults obsessed
with their rights and ignorant of their responsibilities.
On one level, I should not
be surprised at a story like this, yet I am. And as if to add a touch of irony
to this tale, I can’t help but think that this 18-year-old girl will have done
enormous damage to the relationship with her parents for a boyfriend who won’t
be in the picture in a couple of years. Such is the folly of the young.
While I can’t say that I’m
a fan of “arranged marriages”, I’ve often wondered how we came to the place
where we’ve become comfortable with the ability of teenagers or a
twenty-something to properly evaluate a potential mate or partner. And how many
of us would have been spared a world of grief if only we had given greater
weight to what our parents thought of our boyfriends or girlfriends so many
years ago?
I’m not sure how this case
will be resolved, but I’ll be watching with interest because in some way, a lot
is riding on the outcome. Everything from what constitutes emancipation, to
what age a child may dictate to his or her parents the terms and conditions of
the relationship, even down to what expenses are legitimate maintenance like
allowance, private high school tuition, college, cell phone, car insurance, etc…it
is a slippery slope indeed.
Maybe this is a little of
what Isaiah had in mind when he penned these words; “I will make mere youths
their officials; children will rule over them”.